From beneath the Iron Dome and behind the Iron Swords

Sirens, we all run to the bomb shelter. Grandmothers, mothers, fathers, lovers, and children, and grandchildren.

No signal – I can’t tell my family I’m safe.

I don’t know anyone, so I stand alone in a room full of fellow Jews. Some are seasoned Israelis and come prepared with a “go-to” bag – water, chips, sandwiches, and toys for the kids. Others stand around looking nervous, unsure of what to do.

My cats are all in my flat – my 3 “children”, are left to fend for themselves. “They have 9 lives, “ my mother says, “they’ll be fine.”

I always need to pee in the shelter – it’s like as soon as I get down there I have an overwhelming need to go. I barely make it to the toilet when I come back inside.

Then I chain smoke while I wait for news about Ra’anana’s security. I can hear explosions – in the distance. I was under the impression that these were rockets being stopped by the Iron Dome.

I get updates on my phone about the IDF making inroads into bringing terrorists to book and getting a hold of the situation.

I’m chatting with my sister-in-law on WhatsApp. She can also hear the rockets explode against the Iron Dome. Their dog can sense something is up. My cats are oblivious.

I should maybe prepare a “go-to” bag for myself but I don’t have anything to prepare – I’ve been living on Protein meal replacement, rice cakes, and cottage cheese with pickles for weeks. What will I do? Bring water and powder down to the shelter.

The explosions are sounding louder so logically they must be closer… right? It sounds just like thunder. I just went outside to collect a parcel from Leon. A power bank I ordered from China. Probably the last thing I ordered from AliExpress.

The clouds are dense and the sky is more pale grey than blue. It looks like there might have been some rain or drizzle earlier.

A neighbour had a ton of shopping to bring in so I helped (a relatively VERY little) bring things in. They will be cooking for soldiers and communities in areas where there are shortages. I may offer to help just now. First I have to try and arrange for a cleaner to come to my place. It looks, unironically, like a bomb hit it – empty bottles everywhere, discarded brown bags from grocery deliveries, not to mention the cat litter boxes (banes in my life), overflowing with cat shit and clumps of cat pee. Seriously, how do I live like this?

Someone just knocked on the outer door…

My heart is pounding…

I’m sitting very quietly waiting. Just waiting.

A new day. Quiet … I shouldn’t speak too soon as I don’t know what’s happening on the Northern and Southern borders of my beloved country. I am feeling a real sense of ease as a young gentleman cleans and tidies my living space – I was, at first, reluctant to employ a male cleaner but this guy has no qualms about cleaning the cat litter boxes, dealing with the maggots under the rotten fruit, or washing dishes. There’s a lot to be said for a male housekeeper… I think I’ll keep him.

I asked him if he wanted music to work to and he said he wanted from the 2000’s so we are listening to Spotify's “latest hits” – what do I know from the 2000s?!

I am irritated with some of the comments I am reading on social media by Jewish friends and family who do NOT live in Israel, claiming they are “grateful” for the “friendship and support” of their non-Jewish “friends, colleagues, clients, etc.” It is wonderful that people are showing their support for our Jewish State and recognizing Hamas for the terrorists that they are. However, when I read the melodramatic responses, replete with exaggerated sentiments I am irked. You live in a civilized society with no real threat to your way of life; and are so far removed from the war that to “identify with Israel” in any way other than to display your support, and send tangible assistance, is empty and you know what? Offensive. Where are your sirens? Where is your terror to open the door when someone knocks? Where is your absolute horror when you realize you were standing where a rocket landed just last week, and maybe had planned to go again soon? I am probably being unfair and unnecessarily harsh – PTSD or I’m just a bitch… both probably.

Meanwhile, we are now listening to Spanish hits – superb for writing to. I do enjoy the Latino beats – so vital and dance-worthy (even sitting in your chair bobbing dance-worthy).

A quiet night in my area - I am cautiously optimistic that the tide has turned. Of course, with it coming out that Iran is indeed behind the planning and execution of this attack, I am afraid there will be contingency operational plans in place. I can only pray that we really do have the strongest army in the world. From what I have seen, this is so far, true. They are not asking for anything in exchange for stopping - the idea is they will use the hostages to barter leniency for the Hamas leadership.

I feel weird – let me elaborate. I have not heard explosions for a while. I thought I was hearing them and then realised it was neighbours moving furniture – probably for Shabbat to accommodate guests/ family. It still sent a spurt of adrenalin through me before I realised it wasn’t rockets rendered impotent by the Iron Dome. I turned off I24 to hear better what was going on and realised it was furniture.

For the first time I am wondering … should I have made Aliyah? Is the grass still greener or has my bubble of oblivion popped? Nope! Just chatted to my next-door neighbour – while the war is horrific, it does bring Israelis of all political stances and opinions together in their bomb shelters where how you daven, whether you daven, and who you vote for doesn’t matter. She voiced her concern that unfortunately, after the war we will go back to our scraps and infighting. I could only express that I hope and pray that this war will have an enduring effect on our unity – Baruch Hashem.

So Ppooffee called from her car this morning – Ppooffss is my “baby sister” in Australia. She was driving with her 2 kids to get dinner which is apparently sushi. It was very special to speak to and see her. She really is one of the kindest people I know. She is so kind that sometimes it irks me how fair and non-judgemental she is. Pick a side dammit! And then fight for it! I guess we were just brought up differently – completely.

So I just ordered food for the next week – It cost me a month’s salary in South Africa. I don’t have that kind of money to spend. Let’s be perfectly clear! I am spending money I don’t have! (My brother would yell out “yet!” at that sentence – to not mess with the growing wealth in the Vortex of Abraham Hicks’ fame).

“An unconfirmed report by a major Palestinian media outlet claims Hamas terrorists murdered 13 Israeli captives yesterday. There is no supporting proof offered at present.” Are our brothers and sisters alive?? Hamas' execrable and capricious behaviour would suggest it wouldn’t make much difference to them either way.

I sound heartless but I believe in the band-aid approach. Rip it off to establish if there are living hostages, and deliver the justice swiftly. We are holding back to avoid civilian casualties (ours and theirs). If we knew for certain the circumstances of our “kidnapped people”, we would be in a better position to know whether to wipe out Gaza.

Sirens. Explosions…

And right back to default. Normal. That sounded so near, and the sharp stab of adrenalin was all-encompassing but now the adrenalin dribbles away and I can return to my mundane tasks of Wordle, job hunting, and trying to learn a script for my presentation to Ulpan. The PowerPoint presentation is done, I just need to learn the script in real time.

Yup – I get alerts all day long. I hear about missiles, rockets, the incredible success of the Iron Dome, our beloved troops, and our amazing allies. Yet, here in the heart of Ra’anana, I feel no anxiety. I walked home from my brother and sister-in-law’s place after lunch yesterday. It is the first time I have walked outside of my flat (besides running to the bomb shelter outside in the front yard of our apartment building).

It was special. Families with members of all ages walking home or just walking around. Feeling safe by the cloak of Shabbat. Ironic that Shabbat 2 weeks ago held no safety for all those victims of the horrific slaughter by Hamas of Jewish men and women, the beheading of babies, and the kidnapping of young men, and young women.

I’m a “Murderino” – a fan of the ‘My Favorite Murder’ podcast. I enjoy many other true crime podcasts. I haven’t been able to listen until now. I am listening to the stories about strange happenings rather than the retelling of serial killings and exceptional crimes.

The world has changed. There is no doubt there is a new normal. How quickly I acclimated! Am I so easily lulled into an alternative reality? Am I so good at pretending to myself that “everything will be okay”? Or, perhaps I am so evolved, so aligned to the power of the Universe I just know… that I just know that everything will be okay. There cannot be this kind of upheaval on such a global scale for there not to have copious amounts of change of “normal”, but the extent to which the worldwide change occurs is still to be seen. I cannot fathom what to expect. Can you?

Peace. BH. Out.

Taly Gee x